A Small Silence Read online

  A SMALL

  SILENCE

  By Jumoke Verissimo

  For

  S/he OLUDUMARE

  And

  Four oracles, who in their prime, revealed the riddles of the dark: Femi Awote, Felix Okadigbo, Oluwatosyn Bucknor, Pius Adesanmi.

  ‘Darkness is your candle.

  Your boundaries are your quest.’

  “Wetness and Water” in The Big Red Book

  Jalāl ad-Din Rūmī

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  23

  24

  25

  26

  27

  28

  29

  30

  31

  32

  33

  34

  Acknowledgements

  Support A Small Silence

  Copyright

  1

  Prof turned off all the lights in the house when he returned from prison. He bathed, cleaned, ate, and slept in the darkness which devoured the whole flat. When he did not have any cleaning or cooking to do, he would sit in his chair reciting passages from books he had memorised. He cooked his meals on an old kerosene stove whose red and yellow flames leapt out of the whorled burner and lapped the sides of the steel pot. The light from the fire made him wince and mutter, ‘Ish, ish, ish.’

  His house was not always dark as soot because the wan light of an electric bulb drifted in at night through the only window in the sitting room and sat on the arm of the chair opposite his. It irritated him. In the daytime, the heavy curtains his mother had hung covered the room in a thick shade but could not prevent the sun’s intrusion. The slight parting in the curtains allowed a thin stroke of light to fall on the floor of the sitting room. Prof tried though, to keep in the darkness. He adjusted the curtains, but they always fell apart, inviting shadows to lay claim to new spaces in the room.

  It was dark, but never dark enough.

  Prof soon grew tired of aligning the curtains. He turned his attention to staring at the shadows which formed beside the furniture, moving around the house like a blind man born to his handicap, sensing when something was not in its rightful place. He regained confidence in knowing that the flat was as familiar with him as he was with it. He crept in and out of rooms, floating like a paper lifted by the wind. Sometimes, he strayed into a room where he grazed an object, took note of the positioning and counted his steps backward and forward to avoid hitting the same object twice. As he moved from one room to another, filling spaces, he dreamt of dreadful ways in which his enemies — those who made him go to prison — would die.

  On the nights that his irritation filled the room, he defied his fear of the electric bulbs on the streets and took a long stroll around Jakande Estate. It was at these times that he bought kerosene or some foodstuff that he needed. Carrying an empty four-litre jerrycan, he would brace himself with his praise names before leaving the house with a walking stick made from a rusty iron rod which had once served as a curtain bar. He walked out onto the street, covered from head to toe like a woman in a burqa, his ears catching distinct conversations in the mix of clamouring voices, car honks and sometimes bleating goats finding their way home, alongside the music that blared from roadside CD/DVD kiosks.

  Prof stopped by one of the kiosks defaced with campaign posters for the just-concluded election, which had seen President Obasanjo elected for a second term. The poster that caught his attention was torn and what was left of it was the lean face of Muhammadu Buhari, the name of Chuba Okadigbo, his ANPP running mate, and the words: “WE’LL NOT DO… IT’S A PROMISE.”

  Prof wondered what the lost words could be. After ten years of absence, this was what he had returned to; two former military heads of state contesting for president. He tried to dismiss the thought of Nigeria’s politics from his mind, but he could not.

  ‘Obasanjo of the 70s contesting against Buhari of the 80s, and this is 2005!’ he blurted out. ‘How can this country move forward when it seeks the dead to bring revival?’

  People stared at him but turned away before their eyes met. It was often this way; people hurried ahead or crossed to the other side of the road once he turned to look at them. He was more interested in those who walked ahead of him in a pair or in threesomes, sharing neighbourhood gossip or intimate stories. It was through them that he discovered his neighbourhood was the black cauldron that cooked rumours for several other blocks of flats, lit with bright fluorescent lamps, to savour.

  Prof overheard one such rumour of himself and his flat on one of his infrequent night strolls. As he walked away from his home that day, he listened to two straw-thin teenage girls selling plantain chips tell the story of his life as they must have heard it.

  ‘That is the home of the man I was telling you about, the bastard one that came back mad.’

  ‘Is it that professor that Uncle was talking about yesterday?’

  ‘Yes! His father was a landlord here, before he died.’

  ‘Does the man even come out?’

  ‘Out? That is trouble for us in this neighbourhood. If you go to his doorstep you are as good as dead!’

  ‘Uncle said that if he kills, nothing will happen as he is a mad man — he’ll be free of guilt.’

  ‘How does he live inside that place without coming out for lights?’

  ‘Uncle said he has iron bars on his doors and windows.’

  ‘How does Uncle know sef? What does he eat? I think he will eat only cockroach and rats.’

  The girls took furtive glances at Prof’s building and when one tried to point towards it, the other one hit her on the shoulder to drop her hand.

  ‘Stop it! Don’t point.’

  ‘What will happen if I do?’

  ‘Nothing, just don’t point to that mad man’s house.’

  ‘He could even be dead.’

  ‘Until his dead body begins to smell, and council comes here, we can’t even go near that place.’

  Prof walked behind them. He listened with a little smile sneaking onto the corners of his mouth, till it gave way to a small chuckle as the girls hurried away. It was at that moment that Desanya came to stand beside him. She often joined him on his excursions, and they would stand in front of the building to compare his flat to the others. His flat was noticeable, the way one notices a missing incisor tooth on a young woman.

  Prof observed the way the darkness of the flat established itself before the world around it. At these times, he would tell Desanya of how bothered he was that the little brightness encroached on the darkness of the area. Sometimes, he told her of how, while standing outside, he considered what would become of him if light flooded the rooms. But once he stepped into the flat, the darkness in the room enveloped him and he settled into it to brood over his past. Desanya left him at these times, evanescing from his thoughts the same way she came.

  2

  Desire sprawled on the bed with her arms and legs asunder. The only piece of cloth on her was her panties but she could still feel the heat. Her phone beeped, and she read the text message Remilekun forwarded to her from the landlord with a smile. He was asking for the month’s rent, again. She and Remilekun always replied to his messages with, ‘How much is it again?’ They both knew he couldn’t reply because Mama T, Remilekun’s mo
ther, paid the rent automatically from her bank account. Yet, the landlord would always send a text on the 28th of every month, requesting the month’s rent.

  As Desire turned on the bed, her thoughts moved to the irony of the insomnia and discomfort she felt on a mattress with coiled springs, compared to the way she had slept like a log on a cardboard or mat on the beach where she spent her childhood. What does it mean to be comfortable? Desire thought. There had been a time when she yearned for a bed and now that she had one, she wanted the breeze-cooled beach of her childhood days.

  Desire didn’t like living in Abesan. She hadn’t wanted to live in Abesan Estate but because Remilekun was infatuated with a young man at the time, whose face was shaped like a camel’s, she succumbed to her friend’s choice. The next step had been to convince Remilekun’s mother of their preferred residence. She could still hear Remilekun pleading, as she made a sorry face.

  ‘Tell my mum that living in Abesan is better. You know, because of cultists.’

  Desire had looked into Remilekun’s eyes and sniggered. ‘Stop it! I’m serious. Tell her cultist activities on campus is too much around Iba, or even Ojoo, and those places are the closest areas to the university, but—’

  ‘But you want to go and collect strokes from Mr. Longface.’

  ‘What strokes? Is he a teacher?’

  ‘Hahahaha, I hear you. Whatever you people call it. You want to be close to Mr. Longface’s thing.’

  ‘Please! And please stop calling him Mr. Longface. He has like… like… I don’t even know. Seriously, have you seen his eyes? They just enter your body. Like, they practically leave his eye sockets and move into your body.’

  ‘Remilekun! All of this for a man who does not even notice you! You want us to go and live in that place that is almost one hour from campus even without traffic?’

  ‘We will have time for ourselves.’ Then realising that something sounded odd about what she had said, she rephrased it. ‘We will have time to do whatever we want. You can even bring your boyfriend, I would never talk. I’ll even leave the room for both of you.’

  ‘Abeg, this is you asking me to do that for you when it happens.’

  So, when the time and choice of accommodation came, Desire did not find it difficult convincing Mama T with stories of student cultists in uniform chasing professors from classrooms, tales of rape and limbs staring at you first thing in the morning by the gate. She embellished her stories as much as she could from newspaper reports that carried vivid photographs: mangled bodies found in front of campuses; students running from their classes as cult factions fought openly on campuses with guns and knives.

  It was easy narrating the horror stories to Mama T. The university was close to a transit centre managed by agberos, who called themselves area boys, because it showed that beyond being ruffians, they had a claim to the money they extorted from the buses passing through the area. Inevitably, fights broke out because of power struggles between different factions. Because the university campus was close to the agberos’ territory, there was usually no distinction between the ruffians’ fights and students’ protests. After a while, the regular occurrence of this led to some of the students coming up with even more horror stories, to emphasise that their university was more gangster-like. It was a badge of honour to be in a university where you could always act like the hero in an action film.

  Mama T was so concerned by the violence that she asked Remilekun to forget university and join her in her wholesale business.

  ‘Or you people can go to the university fwom my house, abi?’ Mama T suggested. Mama T’s Yoruba, and even pidgin or English when she spoke, carried a zest because of her inability to pronounce the letter “r”. Yoruba words like “rara”, “ranti” or “eran” carried an urban corruption of Yoruba which added a “w” where the “r” should be.

  ‘How would we cope with reading with all these visitors who come to see you at home?’

  ‘The distance, nko? Have you regarded the distance from the house to the campus?’ retorted Remilekun.

  ‘It is a diwect bus. Just one bus.’

  ‘Ojo is not far-o. Iba too.’

  ‘Mama T, the cults are always fighting in those places.’

  With the mention of cults, Mama T sighed. ‘God will kuku pwotect you fwom all these childwen bwinging their afflicted head from home to the campus.’

  ‘Amin-o. And we don’t even have lectures every day, so we can stay home and read. It is convenient for us,’ Desire lied.

  ‘But there’s never light there, abi? Don’t you know that Ipaja area never has power? At least you need to be comfortable where you are rweading.’

  ‘Is there light in Surulere here? Is there light anywhere in this country? Are we not all living in darkness?’ Remilekun said, with a laughter that caught on.

  Mama T shook her head, ‘Me, I’m going to the market. Just try to find a good place in Abesan, okay?’

  Once Mama T agreed, they went searching. Their story of living in Abesan, however, began with the landlord telling them that the previous tenant had left without paying his electricity bill of three years and so there was no power in their room.

  ‘I will just tap light from the pastor’s room next door.’

  ‘How now? You’re connecting us illegally after we paid for electricity!’ Remilekun snapped at him.

  ‘How now bawo? Don’t you want light? Or what kind of question is this?’

  The landlord had already climbed a chair and was twisting wires in the ceiling before they could protest. Remilekun had almost fallen over laughing at the sight.

  ‘You people don’t know that we just have to make things work, somehow, somehow, in this country. We don’t have a government. We find ways to do things. Somehow, somehow.’ It did not matter whether they wanted electricity or not because three weeks went by and the entire area was in total darkness. The estate’s transformer was carted away for repairs and no one knew when it would be returned by the power authority. The landlord never came to see them either after they moved into the house, he only sent reminder messages:

  ‘It is month end. God provide. Pay up. Stay bless.’

  Desire dismissed the landlord’s text from her mind and, turning on the bed, closed her eyes; when she next opened them, night had fallen. She looked at the clock and saw it was just a few minutes from three in the morning. The sound of footsteps drew close to the door, signalling Remilekun’s return.

  Remilekun staggered into the room, although no smell of alcohol drifted in with her. Desire remained still on the bed, heaving slowly like she was fast asleep, while listening to her friend’s movements as she took off her clothes—which would most likely join the heap on the floor. As expected, she felt hot air against the side of her face, indicating that Remilekun was hovering over her. Remilekun, as usual, was not deterred by the fact that Desire seemed to be asleep; she jumped onto Desire’s bed, screaming and laughing while tickling her to ensure that Desire stayed awake to listen to her.

  ‘Oya, wake up, wake up. Let us talk.’

  ‘Stop tickling me,’ Desire feigned a sleep-induced voice to calm the laughter thundering out of Remilekun’s mouth as if it needed to settle into Desire and fill her up with gaiety.

  ‘Remilekun! It is past three in the morning!’

  ‘So? I can’t miss my friend again? I mean you’ve not seen me for three good days!’

  ‘Abeg, let me sleep,’ Desire turned to the wall.

  ‘You better turn and face me, or I won’t give you the real gist.’

  Desire remained quiet, facing the wall.

  ‘Hehn, I have to tell you something.’

  Desire ignored her, even when she tapped her shoulder.

  ‘See, I’m serious-o. It is about that man you’re always talking about. The professor guy.’

  Desire turned to face her, sitting up on the bed. She held herself still, nerves pulled tight like dried cowhide.

  ‘Prof? What about him?’

  ‘Yes
, the Prof guy. He’s out of prison,’ Remilekun said, flinging a newspaper at Desire’s chest.

  Desire focused on the pages of the newspaper, flipping slowly, despite her racing heart, until she got to the page with Prof’s story. She raised her head and was going to ask if she could keep the newspaper but Remilekun was off again.

  ‘Do you remember Toks, that guy with the cute rabbit teeth? I saw him yesterday at the party.’

  ‘Mmm?’ Desire nodded so Remilkun would just get to the point. She however noted that her infatuation and the major reason she made them move to Abesan Estate was no longer Mr. Longface, but now the one with the “teeth like rabbit” and Remilekun seemed eager to talk about it.

  ‘We talked a lot! I didn’t even know he was so much fun to talk to.’

  On another occasion, Desire might have poked fun at the rabbit teeth and what was cute about them, but this time she was eager to hear about Prof.

  ‘Mmm,’ she grunted.

  ‘He has his own clothing line and he said he’s travelling to London this summer to see about a new business he is thinking about.’

  ‘Mmm.’

  Remilekun realised she was losing her audience, so she returned to Prof’s story.

  ‘Toks gave me the newspaper. The party was at his father’s house in VI. From what Toks told me, people are saying the professor is not normal again-o. They say he lives on cockroaches and insects. He only goes out at night and things like that. A lot of this and that, like, they’ve heard screams inside the house. Maybe, he eats people that go to his doorstep or something. I don’t believe that one, sha.’

  ‘You really shouldn’t believe anyone would be capable of eating someone in a community like this. Not in this twenty-first century. How did your friend know?’

  ‘He is a big boy now. Everybody knows he is a rich boy who is living in this area, for whatever reason. People would want him “to drop something”. So, to get money from him, they’ll feed him stories about the area, even when he doesn’t want to hear them.’